Call Me a Nazi and I’ll Deck You
Los Angeles Times, January 18, 1998.
By Doug Gamble
As the Democrats dust off their demagoguery to further
demonize Republicans in an election year, I propose introducing an element
to modern politics as American as the Super Bowl; the good, old-fashioned
punch in the nose.
Since the Democrats began their brilliant, Dick Morris-inspired
campaign in 1995 to position the GOP as the party of evil, Republicans
have been called everything from radicals and extremists to terrorists
and Nazis, as if disagreements with Democrats on matters of fiscal and
social policy somehow compare with World War II atrocities or mass murder.
Republicans like me have been accused of wanting to starve
children and kill the elderly, with emphasis on the word "wanting." Disingenuous
Democrats are claiming that harm to kids and seniors would not be the unintended
consequences of GOP policies, but that they are the goals. The concept
of "well-meaning but misguided" has no place in liberal thinking. Conservatives
aren’t merely wrong, we’re wicked. We want to demolish Social Security,
devastate Medicare, rape, pillage and plunder.
Liberals always have been ruder than conservatives—have
you ever heard of a liberal speaker being booed off the stage at a conservative
university?—but the level of Democratic obnoxiousness
has risen sharply since the GOP captured Congress. If Kermit the Frog thinks
it isn’t easy being green, he should try being Republican in my part of
the country, where conservatives are as plentiful as Janet Reno fans at
Microsoft.
I’ve been accused of contributing to the Oklahoma City
bombing because I listen to Rush Limbaugh, called a fascist for defending
Ronald Regain as my political hero, insulted with an obscenity for pointing
out Bill Clinton'’ deftness at stealing GOP ideas, called a racist for
supporting a pan on preferences and a misogynist for opposing women in
combat.
I’m speaking only for myself, but I urge other Republicans
to join me in drawing a line in the mud. From now on, if a Democrat calls
me a Nazi, I’ll deck him. If a Democrat calls me a racist, I’ll deck him.
If a Democrat accuses me of wanting to starve children or kill the elderly,
I’ll deck him.
And I’d like to see Republican honor defended in this
way on the campaign trail as well. If a GOP candidate is called a Nazi
or something just as insulting during a debate, I think he should immediately
walk over to the opponent’s podium and challenge him to either take it
back or take off his jacket. Republicans should no longer tolerate vile,
hyperbolic, personal insults.
Clinton has described Republicans as mosquitoes to be
swatted away by Democrats. I’m one mosquito who is prepared to swat back.
To paraphrase Barry Goldwater, a punch in the nose in defense of personal
honor is no vice and restraint in the face of disgusting insults is no
virtue.
Doug Gamble of Carmel, a former humor writer for Presidents
Reagan and Bush, now writes for other prominent Republicans. |